Walk of shame

I scurried into the hotel room anticipating the party ahead, for what hopefully would be a night of grandiose sin and debauchery. It wasn’t long before I was soon basked in a sea of alcohol and primitive chaos, as I danced the night away revelling in my unapologetic youth. The music was loud, the alcohol was flowing, the sin was commencing.

I woke up early the following morning, entered the living room, ‘where the hell is everyone,’ I thought to myself. There was no-one left in the room.

I was the last one standing. I stood staring into an empty abyss, surrounded by the remnants of the previous night’s sins.

I reached for my phone, no battery. I reached for my purse, no money. Panic ensued. I was 8 miles away from my home, with no means to get there, and only one option left.

The dreaded walk of shame. It had to be done. I left the hotel and began to venture on the long and unforgiving road of judgment. Looking like I had just been dragged through the Amazon, as the public looked at me with scorn and disgust.

I had to get on a bus, I couldn’t take the looks of judgment any longer. As I approached the bus stop my dreams of a safe passage home were quickly destroyed as I looked at the sign that read: “buses diverted due to the Great Scottish Run.”

‘This can’t be,’ but it was. Surely enough, it was the day of the Great Scottish Run. I continued walking, as I was soon surrounded by a stadium of people participating in the run. I can still visualise it now, the looks on their faces as they ran by me. Everyone departed like the red sea as I approached. I was surrounded by a tsunami of shame.

I continued walking as a group of boys began to shout over at me ” walk of shame, walk of shame.” I watched as parents ushered their toddlers away from me, scowling at me like I was the vilest human being in the history of mankind.

‘Why me, why me,’ I thought to myself, as my eyes became veiled by my slumberous tears.

Then all of a sudden, like a gift from the gods above, a ten-pound note was right at my feet, is if it had been there waiting for me this entire time, to save me from this almighty shame. I quickly ran into the shop, phoned a taxi, breathed a sigh of relief, and cried tears of exhilarated joy.

My luck had turned around. I thanked the sweet heavens above and jumped in my taxi.

My walk of shame was finally over. I collapsed on my bed, reflected on the night, smiled, and thought,’ What a bloody good story to tell the grandkids.’

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