On the Road with ‘Oumuamua.

Caravan in the Sky with Migrants.       

By Kirsty F McGregor                         

Tired with life on the road, and determined to beat the manic midterm traffic, it seems that the ‘migrant caravan’ has diverted its course.

By ditching the highway in favour of space travel, the caravan proves that immigration policy is no grounds for panic.

As multiple sightings of an unidentified oblong mass were confirmed by several sources across the United States, concern grew as the object vanished from sight as quickly as it had emerged, leaving behind only speculation and uncertainty.

Overwhelmed by the media attention the caravan has received thus far, the decision was made by local investors to ‘gentrify on the fly,’ resulting in an increase in both aesthetic and production quality for the cosmic caravan.

The newly pimped-out entity boasts an increased miles-per-hour flux capacitor, enabling it to sail past border control entirely, much to the dismay of some disgruntled Canadians, who reportedly mistook it for marijuana paraphernalia.

The revamped vehicle has received mix reviews. A representative of the US Space Force – one of the caravan’s most ardent opponents – commented that because of the caravan’s unique shape “traditional tracking systems were ultimately unsuccessful in monitoring its entrance into the atmosphere. “I want to believe, however, that in the near future we will possess the technology capable of cataloguing caravans of this magnitude.”

Photo by vinicius-henrique on unsplash

That such a threat to spatial security exists is sure to send a percentage of US citizens into a real tailspin.

In a bid to appease the dulcet moans of those who feel that “immigration policy means immigration policy”, draft proposals are in the works which will outline the government’s visa proposal for illegal aliens born in transit.

The Caravan’s enamelled black exterior is thought to be the reason behind the technical fault, while paradoxically the mysterious material is responsible for the safer, more efficient transport of its passengers.

Local Hawaiian resident Wade McCloud, one of the first to catch sight of the caravan, expressed “his initial surprise at how much it resembled an asteroid.”

James, who was on his way to vote in the midterm elections, turned to his wife June and begged the question, “Is it an asteroid, or a maybe a comet?” June, “without hesitation” replied “It’s a caravan, in the sky, with migrants.”

 

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