Glaswegian man that identifies as a car gears up for national rally later this month

Jack Gray, 18, is due to participate in the next round of the ARR Craib MSA Scottish Rally Championships, with this round set to be hosted in Dumfries

Having come last in the previous three stages, he is making efforts to ensure a higher finish this time around:

“I’ve been hitting the gym a lot more recently, especially all the treadmills and stuff. As you can see I’ve also cut off all my hair, more aerodynamic and that I’ve been told.

Hmmm, what else, Mo Farah’s recently disgraced coach Alberto Salazar got in touch because he “likes what I’m trying to achieve,” but I wouldn’t want to be associated with a weirdo like that.”

There has been outrage however, from fans of the rally claiming that Jack’s actions are undermining the integrity of the sport and devaluing any medals that may be won.



Robert McFadden, member of racing website posted:

“I dunno who sanctioned this, but the sight of a man chasing cars around a field is making my lip twitch with anger. Utterly preposterous!”

Tracy, Jack’s mother, leapt to his defence however:

“Jack’s always been passionate about racing, yeah ever since he was a young boy. Used to run around drinking that canned petrol stuff, what’s it called? Yeah that Red Bull.”

Kieran Topper

Kieran is an aspiring journalist from Castlemilk. He is studying Journalism at Glasgow Clyde College, Cardonald Campus. His focus is mainly the entertainment and sports areas of journalism. He is inspired heavily by companies like Sky Sports and Rolling Stone and smaller websites like Football Whispers and Consequence of Sound. Kieran sub-edits for the Sports Department, writes for both the Entertainment and Creative Writing Departments and hopes to be editor of the Opinion department. Kieran, when he finishes his studies of journalism, hopes to become a sports journalist at BT, Sky or ESPN and possibly even go on to do football or MMA punditry. Should he decide he prefers the entertainment side however, writing for Rolling Stone magazine whether it’s doing album reviews or movie reviews would be the dream. Kieran would one day also like to try his hand at being an author.

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